Boone and Crockett Club Allows New “Exotic” Species into the Records

April 1, 2023 — Since 1995, advocates of a blood-sucking, hairless, reptilian-like animal have worked to recognize the creature as a trophy big game animal. They finally have their day as the Boone and Crockett Club unofficially announced that it will accept chupacabra submissions beginning April 1, 2023. 

“Today is a good day,” said Willie Steiner, communications director for Citizens Hoping to Empower Weird Yappers or CHEWY. “It’s been nearly 30 years since the first chupie—that’s our little nickname for the chupacabra—was caught sucking blood from goats in Puerto Rico. And now we can finally get them in the book.” 

To qualify for the Boone and Crockett records, a chupacabra must be taken in fair chase and baiting with live or dead goats depends on each state’s regulations. “They might look like they climbed up the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, but that doesn’t matter,” says Justin Spring, the Club’s director of big game records.  “When you’re hunting these little vampires, we want to make sure that the principles of fair chase are upheld.”  

Mysterious Origins 

The first reported sighting of this mangy, dog-like creature was in Canovanas, Puerto Rico, in 1995. Farmers noticed their dead livestock had puncture wounds on their necks, and their blood had been drained. Locals described the creature as four feet tall and having spines down its back, big red eyes, and fangs. Because it originated in North America, the chupacabra is eligible for the books. The sightings have since spread to Florida and other parts of the U.S. mainland. 

“Oh yeah, we seen ‘em down here all the time,” says Willie “Huckypoo” Nelson, who lives in the Florida panhandle.  “Daddy used to snare ‘em and sell ‘em to them restaurants up north. Made good money for a while.” Despite their ghastly appearance, the meat of a chupacabra is flaky like halibut, and online recipes favor using morels to bring out their flavor. Because the meat is so lean and light, it goes best with a nice Chardonnay. 

The Club hasn’t actually received any submissions yet, but Huckypoo says he’s “gonna check the shed out yonder.” We’re hoping we see a few entries between now and the next April Fool’s Day.

Do you have a chupacabra skull you would like to get measured? 

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